Saturday, 7 June 2014

Is It Ever OK To Lie To Your Spouse?

One of the foundations to a great marriage is truth. If your relationship is built on a lie, then it won’t last. Maybe it will last a little while, but eventually the truth will come out. But what about those little white lies? Or withholding information because you don’t want to hurt your spouse? Not hurting your spouse is a good thing, so keeping something from him/her that is potentially hurtful has to fall into that category. Right?
I feel it is wrong to tell lies to your spouse in any situation. There is no place in a marriage for being untruthful. Telling lies provides a short-term gain but a long-term loss. So maybe you didn’t tell the truth to keep your spouse’s feelings from getting hurt. And just maybe he/she will never find out. No harm, no foul, right? Just because the foul wasn’t noticed doesn’t mean there is no impact.
Three ways telling even a little white lie will hurt your marriage:
1.) It becomes easier to lie the next time
Have you been on a diet before? Think about what happens the first time you break the diet. The first time you eat that cookie, it becomes easier to eat the next cookie.
The same thing happens in your marriage once you willingly decide to tell a lie. You did it once so the door is open, and a trickle starts. Before you do it again, and it starts to flow. After awhile, the flood gates open, and not telling the truth becomes a habit
The best way to prevent the flood gates of lies is to never open the door. If you have already opened the door, close it as soon as possible by confessing the truth.
2.) If your spouse finds out, it destroys trust
Have you ever walked into a dark room and turned on the light— but it remained dark? Unless the light was broken, it probably never happened. Darkness (lies) cannot survive in light (truth). So eventually, the truth will come out.
It is harder to cover a lie than it is to tell the truth. Once your spouse finds out, then he or she will begin to question what you say or do from that point forward. Even if you only told that one lie, and everything else is the truth, the seed has been planted, and it won’t be so easy to just accept everything as truth.
Keep your trust strong by avoiding lies, even lies to prevent hurt feelings, and come clean quickly if when you do mess up.
3.) It shows your love is really not that deep
Have you ever disciplined your kids when they’ve done something that could hurt them or somebody else? If you aren’t a parent, were you ever disciplined as a kid, or have you witnessed another parent discipline his or her kids? That discipline can be pretty painful for the kids — and sometimes for the parent.
But parents know if this pain they experience now prevents them from running into the street, cutting themselves with a knife, or hitting their head while falling off the top bunk, then it is worth it.
That is the same thing with being totally honest with your spouse, even if it initially hurts them. In the long run, honesty will be more beneficial than dishonesty in your relationship.
So, the question is “to lie or not to lie to your spouse?”
I say no as it will cause three major issues in your marriage that could lead to the failure of your marriage. The truth is part of the foundation which leads to a complete, 7 ring marriage.

Thursday, 5 June 2014

If You Really Love Someone

If you really love someone, you wouldn't hide them. You would be proud to let the whole world know that you have feelings for that special someone.
If I got asked who do I love. I would straight up say the name. Just imagine how special that person would feel to know that you aren't afraid or embarrassed to let everyone know that person means a lot to you.
However, sometimes it’s understandable especially when you have your friends or family against I, which to me shouldn't matter because it's your life and we only live once. Even if it doesn't work out, we grow from our own experiences, right?

 ― Jonathan Anthony Burkett 

Tuesday, 22 April 2014

Miscarriages And Expectant Fathers

The first three months are a scary time for new moms. Since over 25 percent of pregnancies will end in a miscarriage during the first trimester, a new mom has reason to worry. New moms count the days and pray the baby lives until the second trimester, when the chance of a miscarriage drops dramatically. Nevertheless, the thought of a miscarriage is still of concern throughout the pregnancy. And not just for the new mom.
Although a new dad’s anxieties can’t compare with those of a new mom, the thought of a miscarriage is just as devastating and painful. When it does occur, the immediate response of others is to express compassion and sympathy for the new mom and dad, but just as it is with the news of the pregnancy, it isn’t long before the spotlight turns to the new mom, and the new dad is yanked off the stage and forgotten. Relatives, friends, and neighbours naturally focus their attention on the mom to comfort her and provide her with emotional support. After all, she is the one who was carrying the baby and had to deal with the unpleasant side effects of the miscarriage that include vaginal bleeding and passing of blood clots, which further complicates the feeling of loss for a new mom. Soon after the miscarriage, a mom can become so caught up in her grief that she unintentionally forgets that her husband is also grieving.
I attribute this behavioral trend to the nature of our culture. Unfortunately, there is a tendency in our society to not show the same level of sympathy and empathy to new dads as to new moms. As if to suggest that a mom’s bereavement is more painful than a dad’s, and that a new dad’s bond to the unborn baby that he has worked so hard to establish had no value. In our culture, a man’s role in the death of a loved one is to be the rock and the person giving emotional support, not receiving it. Well, guess what? The loss of life is equally as painful for a man as it is for a woman. A man also needs a shoulder to lean on, as these dads came to realize:
A few days after we received news of the miscarriage, I was still pretty distraught. I wanted to talk to my wife about it. But after I saw how more distraught she was, I decided to just be there for her and worry about me later.
I received the usual sympathetic words. But as the days passed my wife was receiving all the attention. She was also receiving cards expressing sympathy for her loss. I was left alone to lick my wounds.

Sunday, 20 April 2014

Happy Easter All

Easter Hope, Easter Love,
Easter Peace, Easter Concord,
Easter Harmony, Easter Serenity
Easter Unity, Easter Reconciliation
Easter Wishes, Easter Blessings,
May all of these be yours.