Wednesday, 16 April 2014

Between Married Women And Depression

Married women are far more depressed than married men -- in unhappy marriages, three times more; and -- interestingly -- in happy marriages, five times more.
In truth, it is men who are thriving in marriage, now as always, and who show symptoms of psychological and physical distress outside it.
Not only their emotional well-being but their very lives, some studies say, depend on being married!
― Dalma Heyn

Monday, 14 April 2014

The Problem With Text Messages

I have to admit, it’s something extremely hard NOT to do, because not doing it goes against our survival and defence instinct. What is it?
When a man (or woman) confronts you, or annoys by a text message you MUST NOT get into a text argument. Don’t get involved in deep “conversation” via texts, and do not try and deal with any complex relationship issues. Obviously, as a human being if someone attacks you, your natural instinct is to defend yourself. You have to fight the urge to argue!
In fact, just the other day I was texting someone and I sent them a very adult-like text. I mean, if you think about it, texting is a little on the juvenile side isn’t it?
Anyway, I sent a text saying, “If you hear me out, and really listen to me, I’m going to explain the situation to you in person.”
Of course, I got a poor reaction to that. They didn’t acknowledge they were going to listen to me, in fact, they suggested they didn’t want to talk to me at all. What did I do? I didn’t stand my ground.
What I should have done was, reiterated I wanted to talk to them in person. Instead, I took offense at their attitude and I reacted. Why did I react? Because I’m human. When you’re in the “heat of battle,” you want to react as quickly as possible. You feel like you have to get your point across.
But here’s the big problem…
When you get into a text battle, nobody wins. Texts can be misread, you can’t hear the person’s tone, and the conversation can’t flow. The trouble is texting has become such a common way to communicate, text battles are part of our everyday life. The next time you get into a heated conversation with someone via text, step up to the plate and tell them, “Before this goes any further, I strongly suggest we talk on the phone, or even better face to face.”
In relationships, some conversations need to be had and not typed. It’s the only way we can really HEAR what the other person is saying!
Written by David Wygant

Sunday, 13 April 2014

Once The Honeymoon Is Over

None of us, irrespective of our sexual preference and/or practice, imagine that we can have an intimate relationship with a partner and always have seamless harmony.
Indeed, most of us assume that once the “honeymoon” period is over differences will emerge and conflicts will happen.
Positively, we also assume that we will be “safe“ in those moments; that even if voices are raised and emotions expressed are intense, there will not be and should not be any abuse or any reason to be unsafe, and that the will to connect and communicate will prevail.
― Bell Hooks

Friday, 11 April 2014

When The Real Culprit Is Fear

The real thing that keeps men and women apart is fear. Women blame men and men blame women, but the culprit is fear, women are afraid of one thing, men are afraid of a different thing.
The fears of women have to do with losing while the fears of men have to do with not being good enough for something. One is loss, the other is insecurity.
Men are innately more insecure than women and women are innately more needful of companionship than men. It's good for both men and women to be able to recognize and identify these fears not only within themselves, but within each other.
And then men and women will see that they really do need to help each other. It's not a game, it's not a competition, the two sexes need one another.